April Clark on Plane Crashes

by April Clark

april clark is pulled into a private room, in which she will be thoroughly investigated (patted down (by which i mean felt up)) because the x-ray man/machine believes that she is carrying a plane crash just between her legs (which, oh boy, does it feel like it (“it” being a bomb worth going into a private room for))

 

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april clark takes the train home from the airport. she imagines the train is a sleek and shiny plane that will leave the tracks any moment and glide over tangled freeways to wherever. but of course, the train can’t be a plane, because she didn’t even have to go through security

 

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april clark is a white and well-off woman, who is trans. she is unlikely to be murdered in the streets

 

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april clark tells the TSA agent what she is (“what she is” being the best way to make herself legible in this moment) so as to reassure the TSA agent that she doesn’t want the plane to crash either. and the TSA agent tells her to feel lucky that she’s the kind of woman who has the money to take an airplane anywhere. and then the TSA agent says, okay, april clark, i’m going to feel you here, just in case. and the TSA agent goes to explore the plane crash (for about a second) before the TSA agent realizes what sort of plane crash it is, and stops

 

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april clark remembers a boy back in middle school saying, hey, are those plane-crash pants? because, damn, girl, your ass is looking hot. april clark is not wearing her plane-crash pants today

 

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april clark, is that your real name? did you choose your name, april? how did you choose your name, april? and, why isn’t your name august, april? isn’t your birthday in august, april? is that the name on your passport, april? is that your legal name, april? is that the name on your birth certificate, april? is that the name in your DNA, april? is that the name they’re going to put on your tombstone when the plane goes down, april? i have an almond milk chai latte on the bar for april. welcome back to the USA, april

 

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april clark tells the TSA agent, it’s okay, i get it, even though she doesn’t. april clark takes a plane out of her body any time it experiences anger. her head is a very busy airport these days. there are lots of crashes. luckily her lawyers are relentless. she has never seen their faces

 

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april clark’s mother has always been terrified of plane crashes, and doesn’t like it when april flies without her. she would rather they all die together, if they die

 

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april clark laughs and imagines that this is the start of a terrible porn film called “april clark gets fucked by state power.” the film made test audiences nauseous. somewhere in the film, she imagines that she begs the TSA agent to pat her down (by which i mean feel her up (repetitive, april)) because she is very much obsessed with feeling uncomfortable. the whole situation is very uncomfortable and doesn’t have a real ending

Beholder Magazine 2020